Emojis: The Popular Kid Becomes an Adult

The emoji, or “picture character” in Japanese, has nowadays become an accepted standard for simplifying emotional expression and enriching our conversations online.  Amongst teenagers, it’s easily the most popular non-verbal feature in text messages (older folks try to show interest in other ways).  That seems fitting as the emoji itself is a teenager.   

Emojis have evolved and expanded rapidly since their creation in 1998 or 1999.  There are now 1,394 different ones (1,851 including variations) and we can expect 69 new ones in June (which includes the shushh and Pinocchio face…🙌🏼 ).  There’s no doubt emojis and emoji usage will keep evolving, and as that happens, it’s important to understand their meaning will as well.

But for those of you who aren’t working to decipher the meaning like we are, we’d like to point out some interesting discoveries on usage.  Last year, researchers from the University of Michigan and Peking University published a study on emoji usage across nearly 4 million smartphone users in 212 countries and regions.  They analyzed a month’s worth of messages, or 427 million to be exact, from September 2015.  The research found that 😂 “face with tears of joy” is by far the most used emoji, comprising 15% of the total symbols in the study.

In second place they found the ❤️ “red heart” and in third place is 😍 “smiling face with heart-eyes.”  Their findings are more or less in line with emoji usage on Twitter.  

So if you thought you were special because your crush sent you a ❤️ or a 😍, you might want to think again.  These emojis are now so overused, and often in a non-romantic context, that their significance gets diluted. 

According to the study, the French use emojis more than any others, followed by Russians and then Americans.  In addition, the romantic French embrace icons associated with hearts, while users from other countries prefer emojis related to faces.  Remember that the next time you get a ❤️ from that hot French exchange student.  It might as well be a 😊.  So don’t feel bad about replying with a 💩 – it’ll at least show more originality.  

5 Emojis We Need to Stop Using IMMEDIATELY

1. “Face With Tears of Joy”

What it is: Presumably, the face one makes after winning the lottery, or watching a particularly hilarious comedy, or whilst sobbing uncontrollably and under the influence of nitrous oxide.

Why it’s egregious: This is probably the most overused expression in the emoji canon. I’ve seen far too many unfunny memes, recycled text posts, and Vine compilations accompanied with some inane caption and an unending chain of these crying faces. When was the last time you honestly laughed so hard that you CRIED at the sight of a litter of puppies, or some twelve-year-old lip-syncing to hardcore rap, or some wannabe Wilt Chamberlain wiping out on the basketball court? This face is the poster child of lowbrow Internet humor. This face haunts my dreams. This face must not be used unironically in conversation with ANYONE, or your texting partner will be running for the hills. Branch out, people.

1. “Information Desk Person”

What it is: Surprisingly, a pseudo-secretary/receptionist type holding up an invisible tray of drinks, NOT a sassy bellhop or snarky woman intent on correcting your grammar. This young lady is engaging in some super fun pantomime!

Why it’s egregious: It’s blatantly misused. Far from an expression of flippancy or cheek, this emoji actually connotes a mindless willingness to serve that is totally antithetical to the self-reliance associated with White Girl Sass. I would avoid using it casually over text, lest your texting partner call you out for being too "basic" or "servile." Unless you meant to say, "How may I help you?," steer clear of this tired cliché.

1. “Weary Face”

What it is: An expression of tiredness, dissatisfaction, and/or grief. Its pain resonates almost viscerally. I want to give it a hug, and tell it that it's all going to be fine.

Why it’s egregious: Like the aforementioned crying/happy face, this old chestnut is overused as accompaniment to generally unfunny web content. Its misuse has been so widespread that Weary Face has now become associated with a highly charged sensual pleasure. We all have that one friend who can't post, tweet, or text about pleasures ranging from chicken nuggets, to devil's food cake to Kate Upton without tacking this face on, too. Its cries have become your yearning moans. Terrifying. Make it stop.

1. “See-No-Evil Monkey”

What it is: Mizaru, the first of the three wise monkeys/mystic apes. If you're into Japanese maxims or don't live under a rock where no capital-C Culture can possibly reach you, you're probably well acquainted with this willfully blind macaque.

Why it’s egregious: It's constantly being used to represent a mushy unwillingness to not look at or admit to something. ("I'm such a fragile little creature; I don't want to see that!") Not only will your texting partner immediately call you out on your tackiness upon incorrectly using our old pal Mizaru, but you'll end up feeling like a fool. There is nothing endearing about a misuse of a Japanese proverb just so you could feel cute for a hot second.

1. “Clinking Beer Mugs”

What it is: The Convergence of the Twain: two beer steins become one. The happiest of unions. The consummation of a toast, no doubt. A light "ding" for the ages. Both cups runneth over with foam. Cheers indeed.

Why it’s egregious: Usually people text me this emoji even though I know they're just drinking alone. Sad. Avoid such an impulse; be truthful with your texting partner and send them the solitary Beer Mug instead.

Happy texting, and don't forget to #GetCrushhed!

5 Emojis with Untapped Potential

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1. “Smiling Face With Open Mouth and Cold Sweat”

What it is: This (seemingly) happy fella has a countenance that smacks of mild embarrassment, casual defeat, and/or an unusually intense enjoyment in perspiring, depending on how you see it.

Why it’s so much more: Use this emoji as an opportunity to transcend cloying cutesiness and instead hit your texting partner with a cognitively dissonant one-two punch. For example, consider typing “Whoops! Just realized I deleted the entirety of my thesis from my hard drive!” and then adding in our moist friend here for good measure. Alternatively, if some clown won’t stop messaging you and can’t take a hint, consider sending, “I’m moving to Nepal and giving up all earthly possessions! Please never text me again!” and hit them with the sweat-smiley to soften the blow. In any case, you’ll be engaging in some next-level emoji-ing.

2. “Smiling Cat With Heart-Shaped Eyes”

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What it is: This emoji certainly lives up to its name. A favorite among feline lovers, to be sure, or people who mistakenly think that cats are capable of positive emotion.

Why it’s so much more: The weirdly vast cat emoji library comes with its own social baggage. Opting to use these instead of standard smileys is a sign of growth and comfort in any relationship. Throw your texting partner one of these as a display of commitment, as in, “I care about you so much that I’m going to scroll past those boring yellow faces and express my love to you via this happy tabby.” After all, cats can be playful sometimes, right?

3. “Upside-Down Face”

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What it is: A subversively brilliant inversion of what our culture has come to recognize as a “smiley face.” A 180-degree transformation of all we thought was possible. What the normal happy emoji would look like if we all lived upside-down, like bats. A revolutionary symbol for this generation.

Why it’s so much more: Last fall Buzzfeed praised this emoji’s utility in regards to levity, passive-aggression, and sarcasm. The slight smile, the dead eyes, the refreshingly novel orientation of the face—it could literally mean anything. That’s why you should take more stock in this little guy. It could be a space filler, a sassy retort, a stand-in for an apology, or an expression of thinly veiled disgust. This is the Swiss army knife of emojis. Respect its hustle.

4. “Man in Business Suit Levitating”

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What it is: According to Emojipedia, the web’s most exhaustive Emoji Bible, this puzzling figure is meant to represent an exclamation point modeled after the "rude boy" logo made famous by English ska band The Specials. This is a weirdly specific explanation that itself merits an explanation.

Why it’s so much more: Let your texting partner know that you are firmly in the domain of "IDGAF" when it comes to messaging by using this little guy. If they're too confounded by this symbol--is it Tommy Lee Jones from "Men in Black?" A jazz cat in a zoot suit? Some sort of snappily dressed magician?--then consider if you even want to continue texting this person at all. If they can't handle Man in Business Suit Levitating, how can they handle a deep conversation with you, or even a casual flirtation?

5. “Aubergine”

What it is: I mean, it’s an eggplant.

Why it’s so much more: Ahh, eggplant emoji. You beautiful, gently curved, overtly phallic vegetable. It's so widely recognized as a visual euphemism that you can't search for pictures on Instagram via "#🍆." Soon, booty calls and dating apps will be all but defunct once we all realize we should just be sending each other eggplants. So as not to be cis-male-normative, see also: "Peach," "Pear," "Honey Pot," "Bento Box," etc. Whatever floats your boat re: visual codes with your partner of choice.

Happy texting, and don't forget to #GetCrushhed!